Circumstance

I've recently recieved a string of bad news, all in the space of 24 hours. When the first news came i thought "1 down, 2 to go. Bad things come in 3's." The First news was the death of a distant family member. But what was i supposed to say? How was i supposed to react? I never knew the person, but it's still a death. What is the appropriate way to handle such news? A look of pain and sympathy? An apologetic tone? But who am i to feel pain over someone i never knew, Who am i to apologise?

Then the second news came, illness. Only a distant person to me also. But because this illness affected those close to me, i felt it hit me more than the death did. What are you supposed to say to news of a life threatening illness? How do you console the people it hurts most?

The third news, a heart attack. And the pain hit again. The hurt for those i care about. The young too young to lose a loved one. The old unable to deal. But still i am unsure of the ettiquette surrounding these situations. "that sucks.", "i'm so sorry." or some other comment of disbelief. What is one supposed to say?

So that was the three things bad. I could stop worrying. But i was wrong.

My question is this, what is the proper ettiquette under bad circumstances? I can't ignore it. But i can't overstep boundaries either.

How do you know whether you're being a help or a hinderance?